Trust
by lonni
Summary: Trust is the most important thing in a relationship. Post New Moon, one shot.


**A/N**: This is a one shot and I guess it could fit into the canon storyline (I've done a bit of fanwanking though). Let's say it's post New Moon. I have serious trouble writing Bella, since she doesn't have much of a personality in the books to begin with, and if anybody here can give me some advices to write a 'better' (canon-wise) Bella, I'll be very glad to hear them.

Also, there's a super-long A/N explaing things at the end.

* * *

**Monday, April 3rd, 2006**

"And so Mike was like, yelling, literally. And it was so embarrassing, can you imagine? Everybody in the restaurant was looking at us, gosh, I wanted to disappear." Jessica's voice is like a nail in my brain. PE is our second period, and I didn't get much sleep the night before. The teacher vanished somewhere during class and we all went to the girl's locker room to change – well, gossip is more like it.

"And then I walked away. I mean, that fucking idiot, who does he think he is?" The girl keeps chatting, on and on and on, like a broken record. _I don't care, Jess. Just leave me alone_.

"But who told him? Did he just make it up? Because it's not true.. right, Jess?" Lauren asks. Great, Lauren. My very favorite person. Only somebody like her can actually listen to Jessica. _God, I need some sleep._

"Of course it's not true, miss. He's just a jerk. A paranoid jerk."

"What happened?" That was Angela. She is always nice, even when being nice includes gossiping with Jessica. "Did you and Mike argue again?"

"It was his fault. The idiot asked me if it's true that I'm going out with Tyler, and he wouldn't take a no, nossir. He made a scene, you can't even imagine." _And here we go again..._

"Oh. I'm sorry Jess. I mean, Ben is not jealous or anything, but I think it must be pretty rough."

Jessica nods, making a sad face "It's like he doesn't trust me, you know. I hate it. I didn't want to break up with him, but I'm my own person. How fucking hard is it to understand?" Her voice grows squeaky and she sounds like she might cry.

Angela, always the kind hearted, pats lightly on Jessica's shoulder "I'm sorry girl. I couldn't imagine how it would be like if Ben was like that."

"What about you and Edward, Bella?" Lauren asks then. Of course, she had to call me. "He does sound like the jealous type, you know, and I've heard something from a friend of mine down in La Push.."

I narrowed my eyes at her words. Stupid girl, talking like she knew anything. I hate when people do that – my schoolmates, my father, everybody. They always think they know better, even when they don't, never bothering to imagine that maybe, just maybe, there are some things that don't fit into their narrow human standards.

"There is nothing wrong with me and Edward, Lauren" I tell, coldly.

"Is it true that he doesn't want you to go to La Push anymore?"

"And what's the point in this?"

"The point is, Bella, that the guy thinks he has the right to say who can and can't talk to you. It's fuckin' creepy, girl. I know, he's hot and everything, but that's scary" Scary. What does she know about scary? _Of course_ Edward is scary, he is a _predator_. God, how I hate it when people think they know it all.

"Lauren, Edward doesn't think he has the right to know anything. He's just concerned for me, that's all" My voice could freeze an ocean, but I don't really care at this point.

And then Lauren looks at me and _laughs_.

"_Concerned_. About you going to _La Push_. _Concerned_. Is it dangerous there? Are the big hot Indian guys going to eat you?" And she keeps laughing, unaware of the idiocies she's saying. "I'd say he's afraid of the competition. Although I really don't understand why.."

Angela and I both glare at Lauren, but is the other girl who talks first. "Bella, girl. I know you care for Edward and he obviously cares for you. But Lauren kinda has a point." I don't believe it. _Angela too?_ She looks at me and quickly explains "I mean, it's great that he cares so much. But, for once, ask him to trust you. Please."

She doesn't understand, of course. That's what I tell myself for the rest of the day, until Edward and I go home. But later, when I go to sleep, my mind plays the scene again and again and again.

* * *

**Saturday, April 8th, 2006**

The next weekend I decide to talk him about it.

"Edward?" My voice is soft and hesitant. I'm intimidated by his mere presence, like always.

"Bella?" He answers with that soft, sexy voice. Sometimes I think he does that on purpose.

I don't really know what to say. "I was thinking..."

…_.I want to go to La Push_

…_.Are you jealous of Jake?_

…_.Do you really think you know better?_

Actually, scratch that._ Of course _he thinks he knows better. Why shouldn't he? He does know better. _Right? _I'm surprised by my own thoughts. _Where did this come from? _

"You were thinking?..." Edward says, in that soft voice. I have to repress the sudden feeling of annoyance. _Since when does Edward bother me?_ I must be losing it.

I take a deep breath. "Edward, I was wondering. Do you know how Jake's doing?"

It's his turn to breathe, now. He hisses and stiffens and looks at me with an odd expression on his face. "I don't know" he says, coldly "and neither I care."

"Edward..." I try to make him understand "he's my friend, you know. It's not his fault I'm with you and not with him" Edward has to understand that he doesn't need to be jealous. Why should he? He's my perfect man, my dark angel, a miracle of shining perfection and I love him. Him, not Jacob. "I miss him and I would like to see him, that's all."

Edward looks at me one more time and goes away. Just like that – he vanishes.

* * *

**Monday, April 10th, 2006**

I haven't seen Edward in two days and he spent the whole day avoiding to talk to me. As soon as the lunch bell rings I grab his hand and lead him outside; thanks God it's not raining.

"So" I tell him, astonished by my own boldness. "What have you been up to?"

He smiles then, that gorgeous smile. The smile that makes me blush and forget to breathe. Actually, it makes me forget everything. He has to be doing this on purpose, it's the only logical explanation. Nobody should be allowed to be so perfect.

He murmurs something but I'm too far gone to listen "What?"

He laughs. "I said, I've gone hunting. With Jasper"

_Ah. _

And then he looks into my eyes "What do you want to do later?"

He makes no mention of the discussion we had last Saturday. Does he even remember? Well, of course he does. He's Edward, he's perfect. He would never forget something. Maybe he doesn't want to bring it up because he doesn't want to argue. Maybe he doesn't even care.

Why should he? He knows I'm going to do what he tells me – no, asks me, Edward asks – to do.

I hate this.

This new feeling of uncertainty and doubt. I don't doubt Edward; he loves me, I love him. And yet I keep hearing this malicious, mocking voice in my head – _Lauren's voice_, I realize – and it won't shut up.

Just _why_? We were so perfect together – _we still are_, I stubbornly tell myself – until a week ago. That's _so _not fair.

I think I'll call Jacob soon. I miss him.

* * *

**Tuesday, April 11th, 2006**

**9:10 AM**

"Angela?" I ask, somewhat shy. Well, that's how I'm feeling. I fight the urge to bite my nails. We're skipping PE again. This time the teacher is here, but I don't care. I look at the girl who sits next to me with pleading eyes.

"Bella?" she tells sweetly. "What's wrong, girl?" I can see the concern in her eyes.

Is it that easy to read me? "What... I mean, why are you asking this? Nothing's wrong. I just wanted to ask you something."

She blinks and licks her lips, hesitantly. "Sure thing, tell me. Is there anything you need?"

I open and close my fists. "Do you think Lauren's right?" I spit out, bluntly and quickly. "About me and Edward. Is he.. like Mike?"

I can see Angela's eyes widen and the confused expression on her face. She takes a deep breath. "Bella.. honestly, girl, I wish I could help you but I don't really know". She must feel my disappointment, somehow. "I mean, I don't really know him. I can't say. Just... can you tell me what happened? Maybe I can help."

No, of course she can't help. Of course I can't tell her a thing. I wish I could, and I suddenly realize that this has to be the first time I've ever regretted having a vampire boyfriend. Whom can I discuss Edward with? Oh, crap.

"Alright" I start saying, slowly "let's just say that Edward worries about me. A lot."

Angela looks at me and nods. There's a strange..something in her eyes. Like she's expecting to hear something she knows she won't like, and I can't control my anger. What is she thinking? "Angela, it's not like that" I spit out "he's not abusive, or anything. Let me finish before you jump to conclusions, please." I said this harder than I meant to, but I don't want my friends to start thinking..some things.

She nods again, still not talking.

I start again. "When I want to do something he consider to be dangerous.. and sometimes is dangerous. Just not as dangerous as he makes it look." Am I even making any sense? "Well, we talk and he goes away and he doesn't talk about that thing anymore. Like if he knows I'm gonna do what he wants anyway" Here it is. I said it. "And I know he does it for me, trust me, he does.. but I want to make my own mistakes, you know?"

Angela smiles. It's a tired smile, almost a fake one, but she tries. "Girl, I understand. He does care about you, I know, but.. try to talk to him. Please, Bella, do it for me. You're a teenager, you're allowed to do stupid things. He's your boyfriend, not your dad."

I start breathing again. "Well, thanks, Angela. Really, I mean it. It's nice to know I can talk to you." I'm half nervous and half embarrassed, but I know what to do. I think.

* * *

**Tuesday, April 11th, 2006**

**6:50 PM**

"This is Billy Black speaking" the voice says. Oh, crap. Billy. I was hoping he wouldn't be the one who answered. Wishful thinking. He never went anywhere, of course he would be the one to pick up the phone.

"Hey Billy. This is Bella Swan" I hear him hold his breath "is Jake there?"

"No" he answer slowly, and I can hear the regret in his voice. He's not lying, he really wants me to talk to his son "listen, I can tell him to call you back, if you want."

Bad, bad, idea. Edward could be around. "Billy, I only want to know how he's doing, I'll try again in a few days. Don't worry" and then I say what I've been wanting to know for days. "Is he, you know, alright?"

I can almost see Billy's face tense. "Just try again tomorrow, Bella. So you can talk to him."

This is a big _no_. My Jake's not alright.

* * *

**Tuesday, April 11th, 2006**

**10:10 PM**

"I called Jake today."

My room is dark and quiet. _Too _quiet. I can feel Edward's eyes on me and his lips tensing in a thin line of disapproval. He's angry, I know. I wish I could see his face. "His dad told me he wasn't at home, though." Still no answer. _What is he doing?_ "Edward?"

I get up and turn on the light switch. Edward is not here, _again_. He's still here, he always is, but I know we're done talking for tonight. I sigh and go back to bed.

* * *

**Wednesday, April 12th, 2006**

**12:25 PM**

"Why did you leave yesterday?" Again, we're skipping lunch. I'm not really hungry anyway and Edward, of course, doesn't really care. So here we are, again, the only difference being that it's cold today and I much rather be inside.

"I didn't think you wanted me there." Aright, Edward _has_ to be playing dumb. He knows I want him with me, wherever I am, every hour of the day. He's like one of those cute, popular girls who tell their friends how ugly they are, just to make them say how gorgeous they really are. That's what Jessica does, and I can't stand it.

Why is Edward doing this? Does he need to hear me saying how much I need him? Who would have thought. "You know it's not true." _Edward Cullen needs my approval_. Suddenly I feel much better, and I smile. I hear the Lauren-like voice in my head telling me that maybe he's just doing all this on purpose so I'll forget about Jake but, seriously, since when did I listen to Lauren? The voice finally shuts up and I feel like smiling again.

"Isn't it?" Edward asks, with a playful tone. Oh, God, he's just gorgeous. I actually have to concentrate to talk. C'mon, Bella. Breathe. In-and-out. Again. Again. I don't even remember what we were talking about, but then he presses his cold lips against mine and I don't really care anymore.

* * *

**Thursday, April 13th, 2006**

**6:27 PM**

**Somewhere**

"Hey Bella, you there?" I sound nervous and stupid, it's pathetic. Alright. One-two-three, breathe. "Dad told me you called a the other day" I hear the sound of her breath, but she doesn't talk. "I miss you."

And then I hear the voice,_ his_ voice, musical and cold and haughty. "She doesn't want to talk to you" he says. My head spins. I can't stop the sudden burst of anger and pain and regret. "She only wanted to know if you were alright, and you obviously are."

And then the only thing I hear is the sound of my own breath and the beeep of the phone. I think I'm crying, but I'm not really sure. I feel numb.

* * *

**Thursday, April 13th, 2006**

**6:27 PM**

**Somewhere else**

"Did you say anything, Edward?" I ask. I though I heard someone talking, but I'm not sure. It sounded like Edward's voice, and for a horrible moment I though he was talking to Charlie. Now, _that_ would be interesting.

I'm in the kitchen, making dinner, and Edward is somewhere in the living room. It's cold today and I move closer to the oven, resisting the urge to shiver. "Edward?"

He comes into the kitchen, wincing at the smell of food. "What, Bella?"

"What was that noise? Did you turn on the TV? I could swear I heard someone talking." It's either that, or I'm going crazy. Actually, I think the second is more likely.

He looks guarded now, and almost saddened. He takes a deep breath. "Bella..." he says, slowly. "Jacob called. He sounded rather angry, especially when he realized I was the one who picked up the phone."

I think I need to sit down. Suddenly, Edward's arm is around me and he walks me to the table. I find myself sat on a chair, a glass of water in my hands. "He said to tell you he's fine, but I don't think he wants to talk to you."

_Oh._

Well, of course. Jacob is way worse than Edward will ever be; even more jealous and concerned.

"Bella, look at me" Edward says. I stare into his warm, golden eyes "I'm sorry. But I will always be here for you, I will protect you. You know this, don't you?"

Of course I do.

And our lips meet.

* * *

**A/N**: I write this as an answer to Mimozka's review. It's very good and detailed, but I think I want to explain my opinions.

Mimozka wrote that my Bella and Edward are OOC. I admit Bella isn't easy to write, but I strongly disagree. Bella is blamk, that's a fact. Meyer wrote her that way_ on purpose,_ so that girls could identify with her, and she isn't a real person. Mimozka calls it 'need to read between the lines', I call it 'lousy characterization'. She doesn't have a favorite singer or movie or book - she only reads classical books, for God's sake, how unreal is that? - and her whole life centers on Edward. Meyer thinks this is romantic, I think it's disturbing.

I did make Bella doubt Edward, because that's what every sane person should do - asking herself questions, 'am I doing the right thing?'. Bella doesn't, Edward is all she lives for.. although we don't even know why. Bella never thinks about how fun or witty he is, about what they do together when there's no supernatural crap going on. She only thinks about how hot and perfect he is, and their relationship it's just about physical attraction. Mimozka also said that Edward's motivations are right, to him. Yes, TO him. Who is he to decide what is better for Bella? Her father? God? If it was my boyfriend forbidding me to go talk to my best friend, I'd call the police. This is abusive behavior, and it's being sold as 'the perfect relationship' to millions of girls by a sexually-repressed housewife who fell in love with her own fictional creation and won't take criticism because it _upsets_ her.

Again, am I the only one who is sligthly creeped out?

* * *

**PS**: Unlike Meyer, criticism won't upset _me, _unless it's very rude. So if you want to discuss this further, just PM me or review.


End file.
